You touched it. That pure stillness.
Everything stopped. And then, it slipped away.
Back into the mind. Back into looping thoughts. Back into emotion, identity, the old self.
If you've had a glimpse of truth, satori, an insight, a moment of pure presence, and then lost it, this is for you.
The Mark It Leaves
That glimpse leaves a mark, doesn't it?
It's not dramatic. No fireworks. Just a deep, undeniable knowing. The illusion dropped, and you saw through everything. Not from the mind. From something deeper.
But then, like fog rolling back in, it's gone.
Why The Ego Reasserts
Here's what I learned from going through this myself:
The ego doesn't surrender because of a glimpse. It reasserts itself, sometimes more intensely than before.
Why? Because the ego is a self-preservation mechanism of the character identity. It interprets awakening as a threat to its survival.
So after a glimpse, the mind throws up even more thoughts. More chaos. More identity. It's like a final defense to keep you from seeing what you actually are: awareness itself.
The Beginning of Unraveling
But that doesn't mean the glimpse was false. In fact, it's the beginning of the unraveling.
You can't go back to who you were before. You saw too clearly.
So what do you do now?
Not chase. Not cling. But inquire:
- What pulls your attention away from presence?
- What resistance is still unexamined?
- What part of you is still trying to hold on?
The glimpse showed you the truth. Now the work is allowing what's false to fall away.
For understanding the destabilization that follows glimpses, read Why Fear Surfaces After Awakening.
To trace the patterns that pull you back, see The Golden Thread Technique.
Translate one insight into one action
Write one ordinary thing the glimpse made clearer. Perhaps you noticed how quickly you defend an identity, or how much attention a recurring worry takes. Choose a response you can actually practice in the next conversation or task. Meditation in everyday life offers a personal account of that integration over time.
Frequently asked questions
Does a fading glimpse mean the insight was false?
Not necessarily. Todd distinguishes a meaningful experience from the expectation of remaining in one state. You can explore what it taught you without demanding permanent clarity or assuming a universal awakening sequence.